You Med, Bro?

A Little about Meditation, Happiness and Control

I learned to meditate 17 years ago and still can’t believe how much I like it. Not because it’s not great. It is. It’s one of the few trends where I’d suggest you do believe the hype. But because I still don’t think of myself as “someone who meditates.” That phrase suggests to me someone calm, chill, collected. And I usually identify as more freaky-outy.

I think that possibly because I had a very calm family. I grew up in a house with a logical, deliberate Mom, Dad & Brother. And I had every-direction creative brain. Where they look for “what’s the right answer,” I look for as many possibilities as possible. Plus, I typically tend to err on the side of being dramatic.

Last night I heard my friend Jeff, a Vedic meditation teacher, give his talk on this practice I’ve taught for over a decade. I know the stuff, but still like to dip in for a refresher sometimes.

I was struck by the idea of control and happiness.

When I meditate, I have a mantra. It’s little sound that has no meaning that I repeat silently. I don’t have to think about anything. I don’t have to plan or reschedule or email or make a call. No thoughts, no problem. They come up. Big time. Thoughts will never stop bubbling up from the brain. It’s the brain’s job to send them out. But I don’t have to entertain them. Or consider them. Or get into them on any level. I just think the mantra. Thoughts come. When I’m aware I’m paying attention to thoughts, I just shift back to the mantra.

I’m hand over the keys to the mantra. I hop in the back seat of my mind convertible. And just enjoy the ride. I give up control.

So unlike the rest of the day when I’m grinding on thoughts. Trying to figure out as much as I can. Trying to get some kind of control.

Meditation is a little vacay from my thoughts.

Jeff said when he meditated the first time, he felt it connected him to a happiness he’d been looking for his whole life.

And I feel the same. I’d been looking for it outside of myself. In some kind of win or status. But I got reminded that it’s never there.

I try so hard sometimes, it feels like I’m ramming my head into the wall of life. I work SO hard to be productive and get somewhere. And I was taught to do that. And society supports this idea. And, honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m a TV writer. It’s hard. It’s work.

But it’s not ideal if that’s also where I’m looking for my happiness.

Good news/bad news.

Bad news - I’ll never get the happiness I want out there.

Good news - It’s in me and accessible at all times.

And the way to access it is to give up control. Let go. Meditate. And instead of trying to get it, simply be in it.

I’m already in the happiness. I get the happiness when I give up the control.